He Said She Said
by hungrywhovianpotterhead
Summary: lost in his thoughts after the Ponds left, the Doctor wasn't paying attention and the TARDIS found a crack in the universe. The Doctor is stranded in a parallel universe where everything is backwards. The Doctor faces enemies new and old, in a new world, with his parallel self with a twist, a young woman with spiked dark brown hair, and a pinstripe suit.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N okay so this idea has been nagging at the back of my mind for ages, the TARDIS lands in a parallel universe where everything is backwards, people who should be men, turn out to be women, and people who should be women, are men.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, well not yet anyway. **

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The Doctor was sulking again, he sat stiffly in the chair off to the side of the console, arms stiffly crossed over his chest, his face puffy and red, and his bow tie hanging limply around his neck. He honestly couldn't bring himself to tie it, because whenever he tried he heard a familiar Scottish voice in his ear saying, "here's one. Bow tie, get rid." His Amelia Pond, so strong and brave even when she was seven years old helping an odd man fix a crack in her wall, never afraid to tell him when she thought he was wrong, another memory floated to the front of his mind Amy standing in front of him a gun raised in front of her, him pointing a gun at Jex "Let him come back, Doctor." Him replying with anger "Or what? You won't shoot me, Amy." Amy waving her gun to make a point "How do you know? Maybe I've changed. I mean, you've clearly been taking stupid lessons since I saw you last." her gun going off accidentally, and her jumping looking shocked "I didn't mean to do that." he almost smiled at the image of it,then Isaac firing a shot into the air, and telling all nonamericans to drop their guns, and him, still with anger telling Amy he could end it by giving Jex to the gunslinger, and Amy flushing with Scottish fire and saying "This is not how we roll, and you know it. What happened to you, Doctor? When did killing someone become an option?", that fire had burned right up to the end, this time the memory came unbidden, Amy her back turned tears running down her cheeks, walking towards an angel, "Raggedy man goodbye!" a silent sob wracked through his body, a hand coming up to cover his mouth.

Her and Rory, were gone now, even River was gone, and he was alone. The TARDIS hummed softly, trying to sooth her broken time lord. the column moving up and down steadily completely unnoticed by the Doctor. That is until an alarm blared from the console. The Doctor's head shot up, and he sprang to his feet, running to the console, hands flying over the controls, eyes raking wildly over the surface, trying desperately to find the source of the alarm.

His hands froze over a small panel protected by glass, flashing steadily, "void stuff." the Doctor gasped, as another memory drifted to the front of his mind, seen through different eyes with Rose Tyler standing in front of him, his voice coming out clear, a voice he hadn't had in a very long time, "But the Daleks lived inside the Void. They're bristling with it. Cybermen, all of them. I just open the Void and reverse. The Void stuff gets sucked back inside." Rose grinned, "Pulling them all in!" she cried, his own grin mirroring hers, "pulling them all in!" then an image of Rose being sucked towards the wall.

This image was shaken away when the TARDIS started to shake, and groan, the shaking intensified, and the wires and tubes above him started to snap, crackling with electricity, and the guard railings shaking themselves off of the platform, and the walls cracking, and pulling apart leaving deep fissures running down the walls.

Then as suddenly as it all started the TARDIS went still. The Doctor slowly straightened, pushing a clump of hair behind his ear. "well, that went better than-" he was cut off as the TARDIS started to shake again, sending him sprawling to the ground, the lights flickering, and the TARDIS emitting a sick sounding humming moan. then with a final shuddering moan, the TARDIS landed with a crash, almost sending the Doctor flying off the platform that the console rested on, the lights going completely dark, the console silent, and the soothing sight of the column moving up and down, with a soft green glow ceased.

Pulling himself up onto the platform the Doctor rose to his feet, brushing away the swoop of hair, that had fallen into his eyes. "oh no" he said moving slowly towards the console, "oh no, no ,no ,no" he brushed a hand over the controls willing there to be some response, any response really, but there was none, the TARDIS remained defiantly dark, and quiet. "Oh no, no, no, please not again! No!" he slammed a hand down on the console angrily, eliciting a faint hum, from deep, inside the column, almost so faint he didn't hear it, but hear it he did, his hearts leapt in his chest, "oh you sexy thing you, I knew that this couldn't be it. It's you and me, long after the rest are gone, it's you and me, oh you beautiful thing you." he whispered placing a hand on the still column of his TARDIS, eliciting another faint hum, accompanied this time by a low pulse of green light from deep inside the column. He stayed there one hand pressed lovingly against the column until he heard a sparking sound, and smelled smoke drifting through the air. turning suddenly he spotted it, his trusty tweed jacket lying on the ground, a small flame springing to life in the center of the well worn jacket.

Cursing the Doctor kicked away the sparking cable that had fallen onto his coa, and stomped out the flames, "No, no, no, bad! very bad, don't do that!" he said, stomping at the flames, until he was sure he had seen the last flicker of life leave the flame, blinking to clear the smoke from his eyes he gingerly lifted his jacket, to take stock of the damage that had been done to his beloved garment, noting the scorched sleeves, and large burn mark through the back, with small burn marks surrounding it, he sniffed lightly in remorse of having left the jacket on the floor, where it could get damaged when he went so deeply into his depression, now even his coat was ruined, and his TARDIS was on her last legs, he had done a right rotten job of things lately, first the Ponds, then Rive, then his TARDIS, now his favorite jacket. he sighed the universe must hate him.

Standing in the darkness of his half dead time ship the Doctor wanted nothing more than to lie down and weep, every thing he loved was either lost or dead, well near dead at least, or had moved on, and now after so many years the time lord had had enough, and wanted to do no more, and just hide deep in the depths of his ship for the rest of time.

though as these thoughts ran through his mind, the strange new universe outside the doors had other plans, and wasn't about to let this man from another Gallifrey lose himself inside the endless halls of his ship.

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**okay so here it is, I know none of what the beginning A/N promised but I felt I needed to tigh off the loose ends that Moffat left with the TARDIS transformation, and the radical costume changes with the new series, so I have created my own scenario of why the TARDIS remodel happened, and the costume change, and I will say it killed me to write the TARDIS into peril, the same with that coat, I see tweed and I think Doctor. Sorry, I'm rambling now, and won't blame anyone who has skipped this part. so I will conclude this as I normally do**

**Doctor hugs to all of my brilliantly fantastic readers until next time allons-y! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N and this chapter kicks off the real plot of the story, here we meet the handsome Torchwood agent Ross Tyler, and his partner/Ex Mackenzie Smith. please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, or anything that I write about for that matter, at least not yet.**

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"are you sure this is the place Ross?" Mackenzie Smith asked, as she stared at the peculiar blue box in front of them, "it sure don't look alien. I mean sure I ain't ever seen a Police public call box before, but it don't look alien." she remarked.

Ross Tyler rolled his eyes brushing a stray strand of his blonde hair out of his face, "yes Mackenzie. This is where she said she got the readings from." he said sighing as Mackenzie moved slowly around the box, one hand trailing lazily over the wooden surface, doing her best to make the moves look flirty and sexy, though Ross had told her over two years ago that it was over.

Ross and Mackenzie had gone out for a few years, for Ross it had started while they were in secondary school together, and for Mackenzie it had never ended, though he had called it off years ago when she showed up. When she arrived and showed him that there was more to life than met the eye, and his life changed, he traveled for a while, then her ship had been disabled by her people, and unable to travel, her and Ross had joined Torchwood, and Mackenzie followed like a lost puppy that had been given table scraps. No matter how many times he made it clear, she just couldn't seem to accept the fact, that they just weren't going to happen, not now not ever.

"also Mackenzie, we have to walk past this spot every day when we head into work, have you ever seen a big blue box in the center of the path before?" Ross said with irritation. Mackenzie shrugged leaning back on a tree that had very nearly been taken out when the blue box landed.

walking forward Ross took a scan of the box, for background radiation, finding it clean h placed a hand on it, the exterior of the box was warm to the touch, and felt a slight hum as though it was alive hearing muffled sounds he leaned closer placing one ear against the door, and heard what sounded like something moving just behind the wooden door, pulling back he eyed it for a moment, then decided on the most simple course of action, he reached out and knocked tentatively on the door, and waited, and waited, and waited.

then he reached out a hand and rapped three times on the door, and he could've sworn that just before the door had opened, he heard the sound of something walking down metal stairs. Mackenzie pushed off from her tree and came to stand just behind Ross, eyeing the blue box.

"what is it Ross? something happening?" she asked placing a hand on his shoulder which he shook of just before the door opened and a peculiar man, wearing a torn white shirt, flood pants held up by a pair of red suspenders, an untied bow tie hanging limply from his neck, and a scorched beyond repair jacket, peered out at them from underneath a swoop of floppy brown hair. The look in his green eyes slightly haunted, and curious. "hello" he said as there was a crackle of electricity followed by puff of white smoke behind him.

"hello sir I'm Ross Tyler with Torchwood...ummm...is everything okay in there?" Ross asked motioning at the door blue box behind him.

The man glanced over his shoulder, looking into the small box, "well...um..." he trailed off, rubbing his chin, which was rather large and square, Ross noted thoughtfully "not exactly no...I seem to be having some system failures, but nothing I can't handle." he said brushing the hair that had fallen into his eyes away. "oh I'm the Doctor by the way, it's nice to meet you Ross Tyler, and..." he trailed off when he saw Mackenzie behind him.

Ross took the chance piping up "Mackenzie Smith" he said pausing a moment before continuing, "pardon me if this is rude, but might I ask Doctor who?" the man smiled lightly a smile that came nowhere near his eyes, "just the Doctor"

Mackenzie cut in with true Mackenzie the idiot grace, saying one of the worst things you could say to some alien fresh on the planet, "well there can't be two of you!" The man's eyes went wide and Ross just shook his head, one hand pressed to his forehead.

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**ok****ay what did you think? I know I should be focusing on finishing my other fics, but this one wouldn't leave me alone please review**

**Doctor hugs to all of my brilliantly fantastic readers until next time allons-y!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N okay short one, but it introduces you to the parallel Doctor and her parallel TARDIS. **

**Disclaimer: not mine yet, just the story and the parallel**

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Across London a young looking woman, dressed in a simple pinstripe suit, with her tie resting crookedly across her chest, sits behind a desk filling out paperwork, her short dark hair spiked where she has been running her hands through it, she sighs and starts to tap a pencil against the desk, clearly bored, she gets up and paces the room a bit, then considers grabbing her long trench coat that hangs by the door and going for a stroll, but quickly thinks better of it, Ross would be in contact soon, and tell her what was at the sight of the strange energy spikes, she flops down into her chair spinning slowly gazing up at the ceiling, her converse clad foot taping the floor impatiently, "I hate waiting!" she cries at the ceiling running a hand once more through her disheveled hair.

She jumps up goes to the green box on the other side of it, "oh how I wish we could just take off like we used to." she whispers softly looking up at the box thoughtfully.

There was a knock on the door. She grins and runs to the door opening it eagerly, expecting to find Ross there with some sort of news on the energy spikes.

Marcus Jones, a good looking dark skinned boy stands on the other side one hand shoved in his pocket the other raised as though to knock again.

"Ah Marcus! Any word from Ross yet?" the woman asks with a grin.

Marcus nods, "yeah that's what I was coming to tell you. Ross and Mackenzie found the source of the energy spikes. Says it was caused by a spaceship crash landing, no civilians were hurt, and they found an intelligent life form inside."

"are they bringing it back here before Unit catches wind?" she asks going back to her desk and tapped on the screen of her computer lightly, "because we can't hold the data back from their attention for much longer."

Marcus shook his head, "don't worry Doctor. They're in route to Torchwood as we speak, with both the life form and his ship. They said you would be keen on meeting the alien and inspecting his ship."

The woman Doctor looks up, "how so?" she asks.

"because the ship is a small wooden blue box, and the man calls himself the Doctor." Marcus explained.

The Doctor takes off her brainy specs and cleans them with the corner of her suit coat, "that's not possible."

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**please review**

**Doctor hugs to all of my brilliantly fantastic readers until next time allons-y!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N okay so now we get to meet a few other characters in the parallel Torchwood, that seem just a little more than familiar to the Doctor.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who all I own is the parallel and it's characters, even if they are roughly based on characters from the show.**

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"so Torchwood!" The Doctor said flailing his hands up as he looks around at the inside of the spacious black SUV. Ross Tyler sat across from him. That name Tyler, well he could certainly be related, what with his soft brown eyes and bleach blonde hair, and there is also that accent… "say Ross, you wouldn't happen to be related to a girl named Rose would you?" he asks inspecting him curiously.

Ross shook his head, "no I'm an only child why?" He asked.

The Doctor shrugged, "oh nothing, you just remind me of a friend I had once named Rose." he said, something tickling at the back of his mind, he got the same feeling with Mackenzie.

He had another thought, the last time he met some person claiming to be the Doctor it had turned out to be some guy who had lost his family and stumbled upon an info stamp. "your friend the Doctor, he wouldn't happen to be investigating the death of someone named Jackson Lake would he?" he asks.

Ross looks puzzled, "no I can't say she has, why Jackson Lake?" he asks.

The Doctor chuckles, "oh no reason." he grins at Ross, "so Torchwood, why Torchwood? Why not Unit?" he asks

Ross's face darkens, "because we don't agree with Unit's views on alien visitors."

"right then guessing touchy subject." The Doctor said troubled, why didn't they like Unit? Unit was brilliant, he worked for Unit, wait most likely he was in a parallel universe so Torchwood might be good, while Unit is bad.

"right then, why do you work at Torchwood, I mean there is so much a young man like yourself could be doing with his life, rather than being stuck working for Torchwood. You can't be older then twenty, twenty-one at the oldest." The Doctor questions.

"you ask a lot of questions don't you." Ross says with a hint of a smile teasing at the edge of his mouth.

The Doctor rolls his eyes and throws his hands up, "well there isn't much else to do! Is there! It's me ask questions or you pull this vehicle over and I will get to fixing my TARDIS so I can go home!" he says sounding bored. "why do humans like cars so much, they move yeah, but they have no excitement, and no wheezy noise, I think all vehicles should have wheezy noises. Wheezy noises are cool, plus they're so…so…so SMALL!" he throws his hands up again."

Mackenzie laughs from the front seat, "says the man who travels in a small wooden box."

"it's bigger on the inside, it's a blue box that's bigger on the inside, it was also a woman at on point…" the Doctor trails off, and Ross eyes watch him curiously.

The Doctor is about to ask why when the SUV comes to a stop. "here we are. Torchwood three. The best team you'll ever meet." Ross says, climbing out of the vehicle and standing to the side waiting for the Doctor to get out.

"Torchwood three, underneath Cardiff? Oh of course it would be this one." The Doctor sighed and followed Ross as he walked to the Roald Dahl Plass in the center of Millennium Center.

As they got near the Doctor took note that it was much like the Millennium Center from his universe, there right in front Roald Dahl Plass was where he parked the TARDIS when him, Jack, and Rose had faced Margret with Mickey all those years ago…

He was pulled out of his thoughts as he saw a young couple, one a ginger boy with green eyes, and the other a girl with short mousy brown hair, and gray eyes, they look oddly familiar though the Doctor can't place why. They're talking quietly, but they look up as the Doctor and Ross walk past and wave at Ross, "Hey Ross!" the Ginger calls in a Scottish accent. "who's your friend?"

Ross smiled and waves back, "hey Andy, this here is someone I met at work." he explains gesturing to the Doctor.

"oh…" the ginger named Andy scrutinizes him closely, "is he an alien?" he asks. "Because be honest that is not something a human would wear is it?" he points at the Doctor's bow tie.

The Doctor sniffs and straightens his bow tie self consciously, "it's cool." he explains.

Andy laughed, "oh yeah definitely alien."

Ross shrugged, "you and Roxie coming in?" he asks.

Andy smiles, "yeah, me and Roxie here were just waiting for you and Mackenzie to get back, Marcus said you found something pretty interesting." with this Andy gets up and walks over to them Roxie close behind. "hello." he says with a smile, "I'm Andy Pond, and this is my wife Roxie. Allow us to welcome you to our planet." he said with a grin.

The Doctor froze. Pond, his last name was Pond. He thought there was something familiar about the couple sitting there, and now he got it. A memory wafts up unbidden, Sitting outside of the tower of London " You're thinking of stopping, aren't you? You and Rory." He asked her,

Amy looked up at him, "No. I mean, we haven't made a decision." The Doctor remembered the fear he felt when she said that.

Oh how he wished they would have stopped, but he hadn't known what was coming yet how could he so he just replied with "But you're considering it."  
She had looked away from him as though she couldn't look at him in that moment, "I don't know. We don't know. Well our lives have changed so much. But there was a time—there were years—when I couldn't live without you. When just the whole everyday thing would drive me crazy. But since you dropped us back here, since you've given us this house, you know, we've built a life. I don't know if I can have both." how true was that, they couldn't have both his life had gotten them taken away from him.

But still being the selfish old man that he was he had still pushed the matter, "Why?" he had asked it should have been clear.

"Because they pull at each other. Because they pull at me, and because the traveling is starting to feel like running away." and really for him wasn't that what it was? Well now it was. But then he had told the truth well what it was at the time, when he told her he wasn't and she called him out but he still wouldn't leave it alone so he had said "I'm not running away. But this is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and growing and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much—so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever." He was pulled out of his reverie by a loud clearing of a throat.

Andy stood hand extended, "I said what's your name?"

The Doctor clears his throat, he has to stop getting stuck in the past like this, "oh yes of course, I'm the Doctor." he said.

Andy smirked, "okay so I guess there's two of you now?"

The Doctor eyed him, "yeah so people keep telling me."

"Oi! You lot get over here!" shouted a male voice in a familiar cadence, one he had only ever really heard Donna use.

Ross laughed, "coming Donald!" he called and started again towards the Roald Dahl Plass.

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**please Review**

**Doctor hugs to all of my brilliantly fantastic readers on this the Day Of The Doctor, until next time Allons-y and Geronimo, have a Fantastic night**


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